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subota, 30. lipnja 2018.

Kako biti (ne)savršeni

 
Ako želite ostaviti dobar dojam ne čitajte, napominjem ne čitajte ovo. Hvala.

 
Pravilo 1:
Smislite fora ulete za prići osobi suprotnog spola. Zato što dečko ne možeš prići curi samo tako, moraš reći nešto kao: "Tvoje oči ko farovi fiće, ako poželiš vodim te na piće." Ne, ne. Još bolje "curo jel' ti tata terorist, ispala si prava bomba."

Pravilo 2:
Stavite pola parfema na sebe i uz to još dodajte cijeli dezodorans. Jedino tako ostaviti ćete upamtljiv miris. Vjerujte, osobi nećete izlaziti iz glave. Posebno vaš miris. Osjećat će ga satima, danima, možda i mjesecima.

Pravilo 3:
Kada dođete na spoj uzmite mobitel u ruke i tipkajte. Usput napišite knjigu, pogledajte sve društvene mreže i tračajte ga sa najboljom prijateljicom iako je on pored vas.

Pravilo 4:
Slikajte osobu s kojom izlazite. Znate što bi bilo fora. Da napravite album i stavljate sve vaše potencijalne partnere. Samo pazite da se slučajno ne upali blic i da vaš model ne oslijepi.

Pravilo 5:
Nemojte se smijati, jer tko danas pokazuje zube. Imajte uvijek "baš me briga" facu.

Pravilo 6:
Stavite barem deset slojeva pudera. Ne smije vas prepoznati kada vas idući dan "slučajno" vidi na ulici.

Pravilo 7:
Nikada, ali nikada nemojte doći na vrijeme. Uvijek kasnite barem dva sata. Ako osoba koja vas čeka nakon ta dva sata još bude tamo ispričajte se što kasnite i recite neku jadnu izliku poput: "Oprosti što kasnim istisnula sam previše kalodonta i morala sam ga vraćati natrag u tubu".

Pravilo 8:
Pred dečkom ne jedite. Neka ne vide vaše pravo lice. Ako slučajno na njegov nagovor odete u restoran naručite krišku jabuke ili štapić celera. Tu ne možete pogriješiti, ali hamburger ne dolazi u obzir.

Pravilo 9:
Nikada ne otkrivajte previše informacija i uljepšavajte istinu. Ne lažite, nego uljepšavajte istinu. Nešto poput : "Svako jutro kad se probudim poljubim svog jednoroga te zajedno pečemo palačinke i gledamo dugu, a što ti radiš ujutro?"

Pravilo 10:
Obavezno ga prvo stalkajte na društvenim mrežama. Kada pričate i on kaže "e da moja tetka" vi pitajte "koja tetka Jasna ili Marina?" Halo curo kako to znaš vi recite puno čitam.

 
 
Ako kojim slučajem nakon svega ovoga dečko/cura i dalje želi biti s vama onda ga/ju zaprosite. Dvije su varijante: našli ste srodnu dušu, a druga je jako ste se prevarili.
Sami procijenite :)

Ako niste shvatili (a jeste) ova pravila su šala. Želite li imati prijatelje, ovoga se nemojte držati.




 

Broj komentara: 37:

  1. Odgovori
    1. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346




      i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

      Izbriši
  2. Hahahah, ovo je brutala! Predobri savjeti hahaha :D
    NOVI POST -> Peany

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  3. Top top top, ismijah se lijepo dok sam čitala. Fenomenalno bre!♥

    https://sosihappylife.blogspot.com/

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. Hvala puno, drago mi je što ti se sviđa ❤️❤️

      Izbriši
  4. Zanimljiv post, svaka cast ! :-) xx

    https://katycolorfulfreak.blogspot.com/2018/06/retro.html

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  5. Hi dear. I like your blog too!
    As you asked I´m already following you. Hope you follow me back.

    Kisses
    www.trendsandfashionblog.pt

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  6. Carski, zaisa :)

    http://modernastreberka.blogspot.com/

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  7. Ja bih rekla da je to: Kako biti (NE)kulturan ahhah :D Zanimljiv post totalno! Pratim te :)

    milicaimp.blogspot.rs

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. Vidiš istina, bolji naslov je kako biti (NE) kulturan haha Hvalaa puno ❤️

      Izbriši
  8. Thanks a lot :D
    I'm sorry but I can't find you on my GFC :/

    super interesting post!

    NEW DECOR POST | 3 (HOT) DECOR TRENDS FOR SUMMER :O
    InstagramFacebook Official PageMiguel Gouveia / Blog Pieces Of Me :D

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  9. Haha, jako interesantan post, odlicno :D

    Pracenje za pracenje? :)

    http://www.alexandarstanisavljevic.com/

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  10. Sviđa mi se! :D
    POGOTOVO OVA IDEJA ZA ALBUM SA POTENCIJALNIM MOMCIMA, pa možda ja to već mogu da napravim, kad god vidim slatkog dečka trudim se da ga slikam da mi ostane uspomena :D

    Girly world | Nova SOS rubrika | Instagram

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. Drago mi je što ti se sviđa :) Slobodno napraviš taj album pa se prisjetiš kakve si zgodne dečke vidjela haha ❤️

      Izbriši
  11. Thank you, I following you now :)

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  12. Sjajan post, draga moja. Saveti su jakod dobri.
    Zapratila sam te :*

    Novi post je na mom blogu. Pogledaj ako imaš vremena: Adda's Life

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  13. Post je vrhunski i slatko si me nasmijala.Bukvalno si kroz humor i salu prikazala kako se današnji momci i djevojke ponašaju.😂❤️😍

    sweet-dreams-14.blogspot.com - moj blog,zapratila sam te,ako hoćeš uzvrati

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  14. Bas si me nasmejala draga 😂😂 Zapratila sam te za jos ovakvih humoristickih postova,uzvrati ukoliko zelis :)

    Novi post:

    https://sweet16blackpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-zulu-palette-by-juvias-place.html

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  15. Ótimo post, sucesso!
    Seguindo.
    Espero que siga-me!

    https://glamour-02.blogspot.com/

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  16. Sometimes small attitudes make all the difference. Have a great day.

    Blog Paisagem de Janela
    www.paisagemdejanela.com

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  17. Segui seu cantinho 260
    gostei da partilha

    Beijinhos
    Novo post // CantinhoDaSofia /Facebook /Intagram
    Tem post novos todos os dias

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  18. Hello :) you have a nice blog!
    i am following you, follow for follow?
    kisses :D

    My blog - Lalabetterdayz

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  19. fantastic post!!!

    https://dosedeestrela.blogspot.com/

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  20. ahahaha a really funny post. Have a nice Sunday dear!
    kss
    =)
    New post in my Lifestyle Blog !

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  21. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346




    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    OdgovoriIzbriši